Friday, September 24, 2010

Trailer Park Jesus and the Seminarian

Trailer Park Jesus & the Seminarian


In cell and cloister, in monastery and synagogue:
Some fear hell and others dream of Paradise.
But no man really knows the secrets of his God
Have planted seeds like this within his heart

~Omar Khayyam

One afternoon Trailer Park Jesus was walking home from Seven Eleven with James and Simon, two of the twelve, when they came upon a young student sitting at a lonely bus shelter. The young man’s face buried in his hands was sobbing inconsolably.

“What’s the matter braaah?,” Jesus asked as he reached into the plastic sack carried by James –also called The Bartender – and pulled out two beers. He pulled the tab of one and handed it to the young man.

The young man gulped it down gratefully.

“I have just finished my reading assignment – Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God. I am certain that I am a miserable wretch, but now I fear I have no hope. Hell is my true home.”

Jesus swallowed his beer in one gulp, belched uproariously and than smashed the empty can against his forehead thoughtfully. James and Simon laughed at their teacher’s lovable antics.

“I am afraid you are mistaken,” Jesus responded kindly, “God shows up in this world as you.”

“But, sir, I must protest your heresy. Surely you cannot suggest that I am god? I am simply a man as you.”

Jesus laughed.

“Spoken like a true narcissist. You are not God anymore than I am God or these two chuckleheads standing behind me are God. Those who have ears should listen. If God is to be realized he must become reality within the heart of man.”

“I do not understand your strange teaching friend. Surely you have been drinking.”

“Duhh,” Jesus responded, “Only the intoxicated can feel the caress of the beloved as he enters their hearts.”


“How long must I be with this wicked generation?” Jesus asked no one in particular. In truth he often talked out loud to himself much to both the amusement and the concern of his disciples. “If you want to find God you will not find him in a church or a synagogue. You will not find him in the bible or in sermons, but in the very seeds you have planted in your garden.” (He was speaking, of course, about the garden of a person’s heart).

“I see that you have a great teaching. Let me drop out of school and come follow you,” The young man said.

Jesus replied, “Who died and made me your fucking messiah? Go and be your own messiah.”

And with that Jesus quit the bus stop with James and Simon leaving the young man to wonder.

~Excerpted from The Gospel According to Trailer Park Jesus

1 comment:

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