Friday, January 15, 2010

Pat Roberston: God is Punnishing the Haitians

Pat Robertson is a huge dick and apparently so is the god he worships. Earlier this week I was wondering just how long it would take Pat Robertson to open his big fat, stupid mouth. I didn’t have to wait long. According to CNN on Wednesday Pat Robertson is suggesting that God is punishing the Haitians with their pact for the devil.

Yes! You read that correctly. The Haitians made a pact with Satan in order to free themselves from the oppression of French colonial rule. Apparently before their revolution in 1804 they knocked on Satan’s door and said, “We will serve you if you will get us free from the French.”

Satan said, “Okay it’s a deal.”

“True story,” Robertson affirms.

Here is another true story. Evolution is no longer a hypothesis. It is also not a theory in crisis. The earth is older than 6000 years. Snakes don’t talk – not now; not ever, and Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden is an allegory. Not to mention that Robertson’s assertion that the Haitians made a deal with the Christian God’s nemesis is horseshit. All true stories.

“You know, the Haitians revolted and got themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another,” CNN reports Robertson as saying. The only thing the Haitians have been cursed with is staggering poverty and a government that is unable to help them out. Then there are the rest of us – complicit because we have done nothing and once again it takes a catastrophic disaster for there to be an outpouring of compassion.

If an imaginary god should punish anyone it should be the rest of us. But, he is or so Pat Robertson asserts as he has linked Hurricane Katrina to God’s anger over abortion and The World Trade Center bombing in 2001 to Homosexuals. Hurricanes and Earthquakes are natural disasters. They are events that occur on a geologically active planet such as the Earth. These are no more “acts of god” then an ex nihlio creation of the universe. The refutation of that is simply E=MC2.

Ironically Robertson has previously made statements about God’s position on the spilling of innocent blood vis a vis the Old Testament. Yet, he seems to have no problem with God killing thousands of innocent Haitians with a 7.0 Earthquake. Apparently the 40 million unborn babies that are “murdered” each year in America alone are more important that the hundreds and thousands of children that die around the globe each year from violence, poverty and disease.

If people didn’t actually hang on every word this numb nuts had to say Robertson’s comments would be laughable and easy to dismiss. Unfortunately, his 700 Club and his other “ministries” reach thousands of credulous believers who feel the need to believe in a bronze age storm god who later became the Yahweh (or Jehovah) of Christianity. On the other hand a storm god is an angry sort and hurricanes and earthquakes may be exactly what he would do. The only question an intelligent person should ask is, why bother with this childish and abusive god in the first place.

So in the end how do we respond? I believe the Haitians savior Satan says it best.

All hail the dark lord.

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